Celynn♥

sorry .

2010-08-18T19:56:00.004+08:00

why did i let myself believe that miracles could happen? so pathetic and dumb. because of you i can't get to play with my friend often after recess, because of you i can't pass by your class anymore, because of you i cry (almost) every night. it is so hurtful and no one cares. sometimes i even think i annoy your friend too much, its effing irritating. i know whats the answer in my heart already as you said. my answer is to give up. i am already half way giving up, why must you bring it up again back ? it hurts . please, if you aren't trying to make any steps please don't even look forward and wants me to not give up on you. I am not trying to blame you. you never talk to me or anything to hurt me but you don't know how it feels because you are never in love. sorry decisions made . no changes. i waited so long, a hi from you is so darn hard to say. i have learned my lesson to not put my hopes too high . sighs . if committing suicide is not a sin i would totally die years ago . will not be bothering your friend unless your friend talks to me . never will i either pretend to smile anymore .

awww what a sad story . :/

something i've kept .

2010-08-15T15:59:00.002+08:00

you know there are many kind of love stories you know like the common ones, the guys used to care about you, make you happy, hold your hands,the way he flirts or talk to you,kiss you and stuff like that and then he just break your heart ; yours will probably be almost the same like these but well mine is a different one . i can't imagine how you use to care about me, make me happy, hold my hands or the way he flirts/talk/kiss me because it never happened . Pity but how can i miss a person so much that i didn't even talk to him before? you call this obsessed/crazy/stupid , i called it LOVE. I miss him because of him, even if i barely know him . why ? in love . or you could say i don't know you but why do i love you ? love can't be explained . yea the first time i met you is by starring at your eyes & the first time you saw me is when i was singing embarrassingly but we didn't even talk but just waving hi or smiled when we pass by each other sometimes. take care i will not miss you no more xx.

its such a cute story to me . :)

thanks .

2010-08-14T00:15:00.003+08:00

thanks for all the wishes from facebook and everything guys . totally appreciate every single one from you guys . i wish i could hug someone right now because no one even have the idea why am i crying so badly now for, no not because my birthday has end it because something saddening .
thanks a lot for everything . i love every each of you guys . i really wanna tell someone face to face how i felt right now . crying non-stop doesn't help anything, save me from this situation . well i hope i still have readers ? sorry this post is without picture .

there are reasons.

2010-08-07T10:46:00.003+08:00

The reason i colored my face is to let you notice me . Did i ever mention i hate weekends ? well because there are some things that bothers me a lot. I don't like to hang out with my parents, its just something that people won't bother to know. Yesterday i have been a really emotional reckless . Screw that . I've always been like that but i just doesn't show it. And i am much more stronger person right now because i blame myself for it so its nothing about you . I would love to see how does people react when is my day next week, to see who are really true friends. nothing much bout today but i just wanted to tell you that ;

something different.

2010-08-06T19:32:00.004+08:00

hey myself :)

I wonder why am i so happy in school. Its totally different from what i think and do at home. There might be two things why am i being happy in school with my friends around ;

1. Its because my friends are awesome, whenever i see them and i am always in a happy mood, like being sarcastic and never stop laughing at what single crap .

2. Its because i fake a smile, a laugh, everything and go through every single bitterness of what i am suffering from .

Okay i might cry a little when i'm alone all the time because i am those type of person that think widely . seriously by that i mean a lot, and i used to put my hopes too high over every single things but now i don't even wanna raise my hopes anymore, whenever i think about it, it makes me sad/cry . I wonder why am i so moody after i last see my friends.

where is the love ?

2010-08-02T19:05:00.004+08:00

i am confuse about life, all i know is i live for God . Don't listen to devil or do bad stuffs because they always lied, just because you lied one time and you got the stuff you needed, you lied & lied deeper but heck, its your choice because i don't want to die in a place where you needed to suffer. The more nicer person you are, the more struggle you live, is like a test . its up to you thought . If you did stuff which are bad just change, if you're a stubborn person like me its kinda impossible to change, dude just wake up and change. :)

hey, its been a very long time since I've blogged . I am gonna blog for now somehow, if i have no more viewers is okay . I am just writing all these to myself, its like all the emotion & things like that. I realize sometimes i can have the stuff i want but i never go further to it or chase it because the stuff wants me too but the stuff didn't make a move so i needed to make a move first, why me? so jus give up and move on and i did, well kinda. :)

xoxo .